How to Be a Domestic Goddess by Nigella Lawson

One summer when I was 14 or so, I was watching my aunt iron my uncle's shirts. I think I must have said something about not knowing how to iron, because she remarked that it's high time I learned, since I would need those skills one day when I got married. At that point, I loftily decreed that there was no way in hell I would ever be relegated to cooking and cleaning for a man. I explained that I would work hard enough to be rich enough to afford servants rather than have that be my lot in life. While I loved the food my aunt cooked, I rarely took it upon myself to learn from her HOW to cook. And due in part to that mis-directed sense of feminist liberation (at the time, I doubt I even knew what that word meant), I still didn't know how to cook (or iron, for that matter) well into my mid-twenties. The fact of the matter was that I was afraid of failing at cooking... all the money spent on ingredients, and the pressure to make it look perfect was too much.

But then, I came across Nigella Lawson's "How to Be a Domestic Goddess". I should say up front that I don't actually like many of the recipes in the book. Frankly, some are downright hideous [I'm looking at you, homemade peanut butter chocolate bars]. What made the book such a transformative read was Nigella herself. Her style of writing made cooking and baking seem like such fun. Who cares if it doesn't come out perfectly? The joy is the process of baking, as much as it is in the end result. Her obvious delight in all things culinary made me want to explore the possibilities of cooking. She helped me to overcome my need for instant perfection, the compulsion to view every recipe as a must-be-adhered-to formula. This isn't rocket science, folks. It's food, and it should be fun.

Thanks to that book, I learned to experiment with my dishes. Initially, things didn't turn out quite like I'd hoped. But that was ok. Because I learned about myself, my likes, my dislikes. And learned to adapt and enhance.

I really enjoy cooking now. For my husband. For my family. And for myself, most of all.

Below is the one recipe I DID enjoy: Her Mother In Law's Madeira Cake.

1 cup softened unsalted butter
3/4 cup sugar, plus extra for sprinkling
grated zest and juice of 1 lemon
3 large eggs
1 1/3 cups self-rising flour
1/2 cup all purpose flour

Preheat oven to 350F. Cream the butter and 1/4 cup sugar, and add the lemon zest. Add the eggs one at a time with a tablespoon of the flour for each. Then gently mix in the rest of the flour and, finally, the lemon juice. Pour batter into a 9 x 5 inch loaf pan, buttered and lined w/ parchment or wax paper. Sprinkle with sugar as it goes into the oven, and bake for 1 hour or until a cake tester comes out clean. Remove to a wire rack, and let cool in the pan before turning out.

Makes 8-10 slices. (and it's very good with butter and jam)